Blessings After Eating and Drinking

There is only one blessing ordained by the Torah. That is the Birkat Hamazon (Grace after meals), as it is written: "You shall eat, be satisfied, and bless..." (Deut. 8:10). Oral Tradition teaches that one need say Grace only after a meal with bread, as only bread truly satisfies. The Birkat Hamazon consists of four blessing; one for the food, one for the Land, one for Jerusalem, and one giving thanks to G-d for His kindness. The exact wording of Birkat Hamazon differs from community to community, but most communities have greatly "padded" these blessings. The original, short version has of late been popularized by Rabbi Yitzchak Abadi. Birkat Hamazon must also said on bread-like foods such as cake, if eaten in quantity. What is meant by "in quantity" is a vast topic, with many opinions.. A qualified rabbi should be consulted.
Foods not in the bread camp, but still of great value, like grain dishes, wine, or the five fruits that Eretz Yisrael is blessed with (grapes, olives, dates, pomegranates, figs), get a mini Birkat Hamazon, containing all the themes of the large Birkat Hamazon in one blessing. Whether this blessing is of rabbinic or Biblical status is a subject of dispute.
For other foods, a short, one line blessing called "borei nefashot" is said. It is not only of rabbinic origin, but came in quite late, to the extent that some consider it optional. A devout Jew will be careful to say it. All of the above blessings can be found in any traditional siddur (prayer book).
A major difference between the blessing before and after eating is the quantity needed to require a blessing. The blessing before is said on any amount, as we are blessing for the pleasure of eating and drinking.There is pleasure in one raisin or in a taste of ice cream. The blessing afterwards is for the "satisfaction" which only comes with some quantity. The minimum quantity for saying a blessing after food is an "olive's bulk" (k'zayit). How big that is is also controversial. (Some imagine that ancient olives were the size of an egg or more).Most Ashkenazi rabbis say about 1 oz. (29 g.),(some double that!) whereas most Sepharadic rabbis privately say much less; little as 5 g.) but rarely will say so publicly,for fear of denunciation by Ashkenazim. For liquids, an after brachah is required if a "revi'it" is drunk. This is estimated to be just under 3 oz. (86 ml), but is probably less. Some Ashkenazi rabbis double this as well..

My Story 11

Within days of my wife's departure from our home, I began receiving phone calls from distant places, from people who had had the same experience. Most were from men, whose wives had left them as a result of their infatuation with Carlebach, but there were also women whose husbands had become his groupies. When these women criticized Carlebach's behavior, he told their husbands to "get out fast". Only after his death, in 1994, did numerous women go public with their horror stories. Many had asked him for spiritual guidance, but, instead found him quickly on top of them. Those who protested, were shown the door, with rude remarks made to them. Some of these women wanted nothing further to do with Judaism. Some even converted to other faiths. But for all of his victims, whether the women (and girls) who were abused, or the men who loved them, the experience caused alienation from the community. First, there were cries of "lashon hara". (As I have pointed out, most of the "lashon hara" arguments are halachically baseless. It is a mitzvah to expose dangerous people). One of my closest friends at that time, upon hearing my story, told me to my face "I don't believe you". My congregation was very supportive of me, but even they could not understand my grief. "You're better off without her! You lost your child? You'll have other children!". I never felt so alone. When I did get back into dating, my being divorced made me almost a leper. Carlebach was too much a part of the American Jewish  scene to be ignored. All those complaining must be crazy...or evil. Parents refused to believe their daughters' stories. Even when the victims were not being persecuted, there was little sensitivity to our pain. We might be deep in prayer, when the congregation will begin belting out a Carlebach tune. No one seemed to be sensitive to our feelings. When my children got married, I insisted that no Carlebach music be played. There were many objections from their spouses. Even when I remarried, I told the band that I wanted no Carlebach music. They were mystified and stunned. "How can you have a wedding with no Shlomo?" My experiences had driven a permanent wedge between me and most of the organized Jewish community. Unlike many, I didn't leave Judaism; but I became an island unto myself. After his death, even many of those who had always opposed him, fell under his spell. It irks me to no end that his tomb in Jerusalem is the object of pilgrimage, even for many ultra-Orthodox Jews. (There is an Arabic proverb: "Many a saint's tomb is painted white, while its occupant is in Hell").  Even his daughter, Neshama, said "I believe the stories, but I refuse to let them define my Father." Too bad countless others had no choice but to have their lives defined by him. Since he often quoted Rabbi Nachman, he is identified in the minds of many as a great leader of Breslov. There is even a "Carlebach Minyan" in Uman during Rosh HaShana. When the Breslov Research Institute published their monumental translation of the Likkutei Moharan, a donor asked that a volume be dedicated to Carlebach's memory. I was called with an apology, but was essentially told that "business is business". I later learned that Carlebach's behavior was not unique. There are many other "Carlebachs" out there, and one needs to exercise caution. My journey had hit a major bump in the road. Wounded, but wiser, I continued.

My Story 10

At last, I had found the love of my life...or so I thought. It only took two weeks for difficulties to emerge. I had recently gotten a position in Mohegan Lake, in Northern Westchester, New York, in a mostly Summer lakeside community. I was given the use of a cute six room country house. I moved in with my new bride. Life seemed complete. Carlebach went to Israel every Summer. Before he left, he would conduct a retreat at a camp in upstate New York. As my official rabbinic duties didn't begin for a few weeks, my wife begged me to come with her to the retreat. I agreed. I immediately spotted some fairly minor violations of halachah that I pointed out to my wife (besides the hugging and kissing among the participants). I wasn't pointing a finger, but merely asking her to explain. More problematic than what I had seen, was her response. "I know Shlomo's sins, and I pray every day that I may be punished in his stead". I was shocked that a young wife would speak that way. "Were you romantically involved with him?" She hung her head, almost tearful, saying  "no. We both know I am not what he needs". She then "explained" "I am ninety-five percent Shlomo. When he looks into my eyes, I am one hundred percent Shlomo." (I told this at our divorce hearing a few months later. The judge and the court stenographer couldn't stop laughing.) This came as a blow. My wife was in love with someone else, who was unattainable. That was why she had settled for me. I did look a little like him, and I could tell that often, when she looked at me, she was seeing him. Once Carlebach left for the Summer, we actually had two beautiful months together. I did pick up on some disturbing things, however. In Carlebach's inner circle, there was a special jargon. Words took on different meanings than their dictionary definitions. Most obvious was the word "holy". It now was synonymous with "feels good". (as in "that was such a holy pot roast"). Also, her friends, although ostensibly  Orthodox Jews, were mostly living lives of licentiousness and debauchery. (as in "It was such a holy thing that HaShem helped her find a new boyfriend who is so much better for her than her husband."). It became clear that the dark rumors about Carlebach were true. Everybody was sleeping with everybody, and it was "such a holy thing". I have been told by experts in Jewish Clergy Sexual Abuse, that there were more complaints against Carlebach than all other offenders combined. It is estimated that he had some one thousand victims. I urge you to do an online search. There was no doubt about it; this was a classic cult situation. I dreaded the coming of September, that would mean Carlebach's return. But come it did. My wife was off to Manhattan one night a week for a Carlebach class. She would return home the next day. I can't say that I wasn't suspicious. In the week between Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur, she discovered that she was carrying our child.  She called Carlebach, explaining that I was critical of him, and now she was pregnant. Carlebach did the unthinkable. He told her "get out fast". The day after Yom Kippur, she left. Not finding any place to stay, she came back a few days later for the first days of Sukkot. She made it clear that it was only a brief stay, as she had nowhere else to go. I spent those days in tears. She said "what a pity this is. You would have made a wonderful father". She left again on the third day of Sukkot, never to return. It would be twenty-five years until I would know my daughter. Just before Sukkot, I actually ran into Carlebach on Manhattan's Lower East Side, a once-bustling Jewish neighborhood. I approached him, asking how he justified telling a wife to leave her husband. Suddenly, it was no more "Holy Brother" but almost a hissing voice telling me that I was not worthy to criticize him, and that when he died, the angels would come and carry him to Heaven. He had left me with a huge gaping hole in my heart, that never completely healed. It all becomes fresh when I hear a Carlebach song, or read of a Carlebach Shabbaton, or see a new book come out of wondrous tales of this "saint". I would soon learn that I was not alone. He had left a trail of broken lives all over the country, and beyond. More of that next time.

The Yemenites part 9

Things have gone much better for the Yemenites after the 1950s. Many have "made it" in Israeli life, becoming businessmen, merchants, writers, even politicians. Ironically, although Yemenites and other Mizrahi Jews have political views that are right of center, those in government almost always gravitate to the left of center parties, despite the fact that these parties were their oppressors in the 1940s and 1950s. The reason that is usually given for this is that the right wing parties generally promise more, but give virtually nothing, while the leftist parties keep their promises. Nevertheless, Israeli society treats Mizrahi groups, and especially the Yemenites, as third class citizens. Most Ashkenazi Israelis would object to their children marrying Sepharadic or Yemenite spouses. A study came out in about 2000, that an Arab Israeli is far more likely to earn a college degree than a Mizrahi Israeli. From time to time, issues surface that highlite this situation. The 1995 assassination of Yitzchak Rabin was carried out by a Yemenite law student, who was also religious. Graffiti appeared at the site of the assassination "here, a little Yemenite, murdered a great man". Those words stood there for a month. Anti Yemenite and anti religious sentiments ran high for the next several years. The assassin, Yigal Amir, has been in solitary confinement ever since, in violation of every standard of International Law. His brother, Haggai Amir, was in solitary for sixteen years, for allegedly being an accomplice, but was finally released. He now writes extensively against the racism and prejudice in Israeli society. Many beleive that had their name been Goldberg, they would have been treated very differently. A current controversy centers around Elor Azaria. Elor, a sergeant in the IDF, was serving as a medic in Hevron, when two Palestinian terrorists stabbed an Israeli soldier. One terrorist was wounded, the other killed. Elor went to attend to the wounded terrorist, and shot him in the head, killing him. An army investigator came on the scene quickly. He asked Elkor what had happened. Elor said that the terrorists was making suspicious movements, and he feared that he was wearing an explosive vest. He felt his life to be in danger, and had acted in self defense. Elor was put on trial, in a way that many consider  to be a show trial.  The investigator told the court that Elor had said that he had acted in self defense. A few weeks later, he retracted that testimony, saying that Elor had admitted to acting out of vengeance. Elor, claimed the investigator,  is nothing more than a murderer. The Israeli left is anxious to show the world that it scrupulously safeguards the lives and rights of Palestinians. Calls were made for going tough on the young sergeant. To the right, it was obvious that he was being scapegoated. Elor was found guilty, but given only an eighteen month sentence.  His lawyers sought an appeal. They were told that if he appealed, the prosecution would press for a much tougher sentence,. If he didn't appeal, they would get him out quickly. His lawyer asked "how quickly, and will you put it in writing?" He was met with a refusal, and went on to appeal. The new trial is now ongoing. Even the Israeli Justice Minister said that he did not receive a "clean trial". Netanyahu asked  President Rivlin for a pardon, that was not forthcoming. In the last few days, Elor has been released to house arrest. The fact that he is Yemenite has figured prominently in news coverage. An entire community is, in effect, on trial. It is widely felt by many (including yours truly), that an expendable Yemenite is being sacrificed to appease world opinion. Elor's friends have been warned by "justice" officials not to speak to the media. There is the overwhelming feeling that had he been an Ashkenazi, nothing would have happened. How this turns out, remains to be seen. Many Yemenites have made their way to the United States. Yemenite synagogues are now commonplace in major American cities. They still have their internal conflicts, but are now a thriving community, here as well as in Israel, but with far less prejudice here. We must wait for not only the national redemption of Israel, but for the psychological and spiritual redemption as well. May it be soon!

The Yemenites part 8

All in all, some 4,500 Yemenite children "died" in hospitals from the late 1940s until the mid 1950s. Bodies were never returned to families. This also happened to other Mizrahi (Eastern) Jews,. as well as those from the Balkans, albeit on a smaller scale. Rumors abounded that the children had been given for adoption, in a Machiavellian social engineering  plot to insure smaller families of Yemenites. Denials from the government  were strong and unambiguous. In the late 1980s, some Yemenites formed a political party around this issue, that did not succeed in making it into the Knesset. Aging parents were desperate to learn of their children's' fate, before they went to their own graves. People whispered, but no one knew for sure. I had several Yemenite friends who had missing siblings. In 1994, a relatively unknown figure, self styled Rabbi Uzi Meshulam, went public with the claim that he had in his possession proof that the children had been given for adoption to wealthy Ashkenazi families. Meshulam alienated the vast majority of Israelis, both religious and secular, with his claim that the secularists, especially those in government, were not actually Jews at all, but were souls of the Mixed Multitude; non Jews who joined the Israelites at the Exodus (Exodus 12:38). Such divisiveness was offensive to nearly all Israelis. Meshulam demanded an impartial commission of inquiry. I, personally, saw a photocopy of a letter to Meshulam from a high ranking government official, telling him that if he dropped the issue, he could have any rabbinic position he wanted; even Chief Rabbi. If he didn't, he would become an "ex". Police came to arrest him at his home. He barricaded himself, together with a group of heavily armed followers. A Waco style confrontation occurred, with a standoff of over as month. Finally, the police stormed his compound, killing one follower and arresting the rest. Meshulam was given an eight year sentence, but was pardoned after five. He was released from prison paralyzed, with many suspicious illnesses.Many beleive he was poisoned. He lingered between life and death for over a decade, finally succumbing in 2013. A commission of inquiry was set up, that concluded that the vast majority of the children had died from natural causes,  with only fifty six unaccounted for, who may have been given for adoption. Case closed. A few months ago, after the death of Ben Gurion's last remaining close associate, archives were opened. They told a story beyond anyone's wildest imagination. Thousands of babies were given for adoption to wealthy Ashkenazim. Many were sold for adoption overseas, transported by the government's own shipping lines. But many others were used for experimentation in Israeli hospitals. After the experiments were over, they were allowed to die by neglect. The doctors saw them as "laboratory monkeys", not as fellow Jews, or even fellow human beings.Photographs of these victims were in the released  archives. Israel was in shock.  One member of this group told me of her efforts to hide the news reports from her daughter. Uzi Meshulam had been vindicated, at least posthumously. Israel is now in the grip of dealing with its legacy. The Yemenites are dealing with their identity as Israelis.

The Yemenites part 7

This part is difficult for me to write, and will be difficult for many to hear. If you are offended, I am sorry. These are facts. Israel was founded as a Socialist Paradise, for European, secular  Jews. David Ben Gurion, the head of the Jewish community in pre State Israel, and Israel's first Prime Minister, ran strict policies against Right Wing elements, as well as marginalizing the religious, as well as Eastern Jews and their culture. On  the other hand, Eastern Jews were necessary to strengthen the ranks of the military, as well as providing cheap, unskilled labor. The young State absorbed over a million Eastern Jews, tripling its size in a short time. A whimsical picture of this situation can be seen in the classic movie "Salah". The Yemenites proved to be a special challenge. Although they were well versed in Torah literature, and many were skilled artisans (especially silver smiths), they had virtually no secular education, and were, essentially living in a different century. In operation "Magic Carpet" (also called Mashiach's Coming), some 49,000 Yemenite Jews were airlifted to the fledgling State between 1949 and 1950.. One often hears the story of how these people were so backward, that they lit fires on the planes for warmth! What one doesn't generally hear, is that they were led to beleive that they were coming to a spiritually based Torah society, where the promised Redemption had begun. When they got on the planes, they were told that their belongings were too heavy, and they would have to be shipped to Israel separately. People parted with gold, silver, family heirlooms, as well as priceless ancient manuscripts. Most of these were  never seen again. Some of the manuscripts were later found on display in museums, and were later recovered through legal action. The new immigrants arrived to find secular officials in charge of their absorption, who "explained" to them that Torah observance was no longer necessary, as its purpose had been to bring them back to the Holy Land, and now they were back. Many had their peyot forcibly cut, as they might harbor lice. It must be understood that for the Yemenited, peyot, which they call "simanim" (signs) are their ultimate symbol of Jewishness. They were first put in tent camps, later replaced by "maabarot" (transit camps) consisting of makeshift temporary buildings. They were perturbed by the fact that European immigrants were quickly switched to permanent housing, while they, and other Eastern Jews,  languished for years in sheds.Most became either farm hands for more established, mostly Ashkenazic communities, while the women worked as domestic help. New mothers were told that if tehy nursed their babies, they would be denied medical care. The State needed then to work.  But the worst was yet to come. Families would go for medical check ups to the government  clinics. Large families frequently were told that one or more of their children needed to be taken to the hospital for observation. The next day, they were told that the children were dead, and had already been buried. After forty years of clamoring "where are our children?", some of the graves were opened. There were no remains. What happened and why? Why has this story been covered up until recently? Why were previous investigations always stymied? What were the effects of these policies on the attitudes of the Yemenites to the Isreali establishment and vice versa?

Kabbalah part 15

Some of you have been asking why Rabbi Nachman and his teachings were, and to a degree, still are, persecuted. In thinking about it, I realized that this question is, indeed, pertinent to the entire theme of this group. Community can be a great benefit, or it can be a straight jacket of conformity, stifling everything; especially spiritual growth. There are several reasons for the opposition to Rabbi Nachman. I will take them one by one. Some of you may have come across the name of Rabbi Nasan Maimon. When he was a young man, he worked as a computer systems analyst. He had with him at work a volume of the teachings of Rabbi Nachman. His boss, who was also Hasidic, from a group not opposed to Breslov, picked the book up, and read on the title page great praises of Rabbi Nachman. He immediately threw the book down on the desk. Rabbi Maimon asked for an explanation. "Nobody is that great. Nobody is as great as MY Rebbe, and he's not so much".While it is true that the Talmud speaks of a "yeridat hadorot" (a spiritual decline in all generations after Sinai), this cannot be taken as a hard and fast rule. Great luminaries have appeared throughout history. Most people would agree with this...but not about now. Sima and I became attracted to Judaism through very different teachers. Yet, both of us had been told "you can't imagine the awesome level of the average Jew one hundred years ago". Someone with even a rudimentary knowledge of Jewish history will understand how totally nonsensical that statement is. Similarly, I was once in the home of a pious man, whose grandfather was a very prominent Hungarian rabbi. He showed me his grandparents' wedding pictures. I was surprised that there was no "mechitzah" (partition) between the men and the women. He looked at me and said "You're comparing our women to the women of two generations ago?!?!" (that is, they were all very pious and modest then, not like "our" brazen women). In my opinion, this attitude prevents not only progress, but also keeps us from marveling at great spiritual giants among us. Rabbi Nachman CAN'T be seen for the remarkable person he was, because he lived only two hundred years ago! Five hundred, he'd have a chance. It was, at one time, common for great Tzaddikim to sing their own praises. This was not done out of arrogance, but in order to let the people know to whom to turn for help. In Rabbi Nachman's time, this was no longer common. But Rabbi Nachman did praise himself and his work. At the same time, those close to him spoke of his great humility. Outsiders, however, saw him as a braggart. It's as if Einstein would have been rejected by science because he dared disagree with Newton, who lived over two hundred and fifty years earlier! Another, more spiritual factor, lies in Rabbi Nachman's teaching that the more righteous the person, the more he becomes like a polished mirror. Others then see their reflection in him, and don't like what they see. They ascribe the failing to the Tzaddik, when they are actually seeing themselves. Hasidism's heyday was in the past, and Hasidim were now content with mediocrity. Rabbi Nachman tried to give it back its soul. Many saw this as impossible. It threatened the stature of recognized  Rebbes. He "upset the apple cart".In my opinion, it needed upsetting.