My Story 55

Back in 1987, when I was working for a Jerusalem Tefillin store, three of my coworkers conspired to frame the owner, in order to put him out of business and take over the store. They were backed by a prominent rabbi, who appeared to be in on the plot, although it turned out that he wasn't, but had believed their lies. (In the heat of the dispute,  I said some really bad things to him, for which I later apologized. He said "No apology necessary. The way it looked, you were right to have said those things"). They attempted to include me in the conspiracy, but I refused. I was perplexed. Here were three religious men, at least one a scholar, who were perpetrating character and professional assassination against the man who had been their benefactor. At that time, I had been following Rabbi Kiwak for two years. I ran to his apartment in pain and confusion. He listened to the story, looked at me and smiled. "Reb Yaakov (my Hebrew name), how old are you?" "Thirty seven. Why?" "Oh, I thought you were twelve. This is the reality of the world and people. For money, power, or honor, they will do anything. It is the rare individual who does not operate like that! We must make every effort to be one of the rare individuals".I think this story is the best summation for this series. Rabbi Nachman had taught that the inner reality of the world is joy, holiness and happiness. But these are surrounded by layers of illusion. Every ideology is part of that illusion, except Torah. But even Torah can be turned and twisted until it is really an anti-Torah. But one can find Truth, ignore the machinations of scoundrels, charlatans, and politicians, and live a truly happy and productive life in accordance with absolute Truth. I have seen abuse, falsehood, and every kind of corruption over the course of my life. I have been hurt and betrayed by people I trusted and admired. But I have also been helped by strangers, who had nothing to gain by coming to my aid. Rabbi Nachman said "even from me will come false leaders". Indeed, I have encountered three prominent Breslovers who turned out to be sexual predators. I'm sure there are more. I have encountered people steeped in illusion, but convinced that they are on the right track. My job...and yours, is to recognize the illusion, give a laugh, and go forward to reality...which is only G-d. I have met people whose entire reality was G-d, and would guide all seekers, and disparage their own importance. At times of crisis, I would often temporarily forget, these truths. That is when the pain comes. Only when I, at last, remembered them, did I return to joy. Rabbi Kiwak also stressed to me that many of the people I had become disillusioned with, were not bad people, but were "broken". A lifetime of dashed hopes and shattered dreams had worn them down, to the point where they didn't really care anymore. Our job is not to judge them, but to find G-d, and put everything into that perspective.  I originally wrote this series eight years ago, because of a controversy concerning a prominent charlatan. People began hurling cries of "lashon hara" at me and at others who protested. Herein lies the worst problem, to my mind, facing Orthodoxy today. The Chafetz Chaim, writing at the turn of the twentieth century, saw a Jewish world filled with gossip, character assassination, and slander. He wrote many books on the prohibitions related to the tongue. But he greatly exaggerated many points, seeing lashon hara as so very destructive that it needs to be completely negated. To be sure, he included the times when we may, or even must, expose dangerous individuals. But these laws almost disappear in his extensive exhortations against lashon hara. People began to be afraid to say ANYTHING! In RAMBAM's Code, lashon hara takes up part of one chapter, consisting of eight brief paragraphs. The great emphasis on not speaking lashon hara, has, in my opinion, made the Orthodox community the ideal refuge for predators, thieves, and scoundrels of every kind, and occasionally murderers. They are shielded by a community that sees not talking as an ideal. That is an anti-Torah if I have ever seen one. Rabbi Kiwak once said to me "the greatest sins result from the fear of speaking lashon hara". It does not need to be that way! My final words in this series are from the theologian, Reinhold Niebuhr, words that I often include in my own prayers: "G-d grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference".