Jewish Marriage part 4

The groom has now placed the veil on the bride. . It is an incredibly happy time. But can we fully rejoice while there is no Temple, and the world is full of hate and violence? In most communities, ashes are now placed on the groom's head, to remember, even at such a time, the destruction of Jerusalem. At one time, long ago, the groom would have a crown placed on his head. The bride would have a gold ornament with the image of Jerusalem on it. (This was the inspiration of the song "Jerusalem of Gold") The bride was carried to the ceremony in a palanquin. These festivities were discontinued after the fall of Jerusalem. We now remember the verse "To give to the mourners of Zion, glory in place of ashes" (Isaiah 61:3) We wear the ashes, but await the glory. Another institution that was discontinued was the Huppah. The word "Huppah" appears several times in the Bible, and most people assume that it means the canopy that is now used in nearly all Jewish communities. But this is not the case. Until the destruction of Jerusalem, it was the practice to build a special hut where not only was the wedding held, but in which the couple would live for seven days and nights. Friends and relatives would come every day to celebrate with the newlyweds. One of the most beautiful (and romantic!) stories in the Talmud says that when a girl was born, her father would plant a myrtle. When a boy was born, his father would plant a cedar. When they married, the huppah hut was made from the branches of these trees. The Jerusalem Talmud also comments that these huppot were richly decorated with drapes and tapestries. After the destruction, the huppah was merely the house where the new couple would reside, celebrating for seven days. Later, a place of seclusion called the "yichud, or "uniting" room" was set aside at the wedding hall, where the couple can be alone right after the ceremony. This is still practiced. So where did we get the canopy, known today as the huppah, which is virtually the symbol of a Jewish wedding? Many customs (as opposed to laws), began for reasons that have been forgotten, or else overlaid with interpretations that grew larger in the popular consciousness than the original reason. In the middle ages, there were no catering halls. Weddings were generally held at the synagogue. However, in Medieval France and Germany, some rabbis felt that this was not proper, as the wedding is not technically a prayer service. Others disagreed, and this is the view that prevails. But, in the heat of debate, it became customary to hold the ceremony outdoors, so as to avoid the controversy. Ah, but here we have a problem. The Talmud forbids holding a wedding on a public street or in a marketplace, as it seems too haphazard. In order to avoid this problem, the custom came in (mentioned already in 11th century literature) to set up a canopy, usually held up by friends and relatives, to delineate a private, special place. Soon, the custom took on new meanings. A wedding under the stars signified the blessing "Be numerous as the stars in Heaven". The canopy symbolized the new home that was coming into being, as well as a Higher Light that shines on the couple, uniting the two into one. These are all after-the-fact interpretations, but they caught on. The custom spread far and wide, being accepted by Sepharadim a few centuries later, and by Yemenites in the twentieth century. Interestingly, some wedding halls have an indoor huppah with a skylight above, which is opened during the ceremony.
The groom is now led to the canopy, held either by his parents, or else by the two fathers. The bride will come slightly later, accompanied by her parents, or both mothers. What happens next will be my next post.