My Story 8

My Shabbat with the Breslov community in Williamsburg was indeed a breath of fresh air. The entire day was spent in prayer, singing, Torah study. There was a spontaneity in their Jewishness that I had never known before. At the same time, I gathered from things said, that there were factional problems in Breslov. The next day, I visited a Hebrew book store and discovered that a Breslov classic, "Rabbi Nachman's Wisdom" had recently been translated into English. I saw that the translator was Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan; a little-known figure at that time. I had known him several years before, when I was working for Hillel. I had been the rabbi of the Ohio State Hillel, and he had been the rabbi of the Hillel at Hunter College in New York. We had met at a director's conference. We were both hired and fired about the same time. We were not the types Hillel was interested in. I gave him a call. He remembered me, and we had a wonderful conversation. I asked if he was Breslov. He replied "No, I see nothing to gain from declaring one's self to be a member of one group or another. All you are doing is closing yourself off from everyone else". He made it very clear, however, that he adored Rabbi Nachman, his books, as well as the books written by his followers. I told him about my experience in Williamsburg. He informed me that, in fact, there were five different Breslov factions in the New York City area, each consisting of about twenty-five people. There were clashes of ideologies, as well as personalities. I found out from him that my warm reception in Williamsburg was at least partially due to this dispute. There was a running debate between Breslovers as to whether these teachings were meant for all, or only for a small group. Some were printing books, and distributing them at street corners, either for free, or for a minimal price; usually five cents for a full-size hardcover book. These groups would even make cheap knock-off editions of books published by other factions. The Williamsburg group, on the other hand, believed that Rabbi Nachman's teachings were meant to be kept secret. If Rabbi Nachman wanted you, he would find you! My experiences with coming across two books, seemingly out of nowhere, seemed to prove their point. Rabbi Kaplan went on to describe the various groups, which he knew intimately. Some were composed of outwardly Hasidic, Yiddish-speaking people, who were either born into Breslov, or, more commonly, had come to it from other forms of Hasidism. These were loose confederations of like-minded people, who gathered together for inspiration and camaraderie. On the other hand, some groups were composed of people who were raised Modern Orthodox, escaping the superficiality of that approach. They were joined by baalei teshuvah, and converts. I was to learn that Breslov was the most convert-friendly of all Jewish groups. Rabbi Nachman considered converts to be essential to G-d's plan. However, these groups were led by strong personalities, who demanded complete loyalty. They were essentially Hasidic Rebbes in their own right. One of the groups was overwhelmingly female! Some dressed in Hasidic garb, others were clean-shaven, and wore American dress. Some were staunch supporters of Neturei Karta, the vehemently anti-Zionist faction in Israel. Some were Zionists. Rabbi Kaplan pointed out the benefits of diversity. He was not thrilled with the cult-like features of some of the groups, but believed that the leaders of these groups also had much to say, and should not be ignored. I gave notice at my Cincinnati synagogue and returned to New York to learn about Rabbi Nachman. His teachings were unlike anything I had learned before or since. In fact, everything else seemed almost trivial in comparison. I lived for the next year (1975-1976) with my parents. My four and a half years in Ohio became a wonderful memory. But I was headed now in a different direction. It would be another ten years until I met the man whom I now consider my teacher. More about him in another few posts. Only then was I able to tie together all the loose ends in Breslov. Right now, I was observing, absorbing, and trying to apply all the new and wonderful things I was learning, even while I was confused and disturbed by the factionalism. In a way, I was born in 1975. Like an infant, I was starting again from the beginning