The Kaddish part 6

While the Kaddish is one of the most central parts of our liturgy, it also raises two red flags that cannot be ignored.. When I was a teenager, someone, I can't even remember who, said to me: "Judaism in America was destroyed by the first rabbi who took ten dollars to say Kaddish". Now I can't fault the rabbis. While salaries of non Orthodox rabbis, as well as Orthodox rabbis in choice positions, begin at $130,000 a year, with some earning seven figures, small, non organizational synagogues often pay their rabbis in the neighborhood of $30,000 a year, with the expectation that he will make up the rest of what he and his family need to live on by doing weddings, funerals, conversions,  providing kashrut supervision, and...saying Kaddish. It should be noted that in the Conservative movement, accepting money for these services is grounds for expelling rabbis from their rabbinical organization. Some of the above, especially conversions, actually present halachic problems when done for money. But, in smaller congregations, this is the norm. I haven't looked into it  in about ten years, but the last I checked, the going rate for saying Kaddish for a year was then about $3,000. A rabbi may have a list of names that he glances at, recites Kaddish for all, and can put food on the table. Besides the ethical problem of treating the rabbi in this way, it also gives people a "bad taste", seeing rabbis who need to hustle, being more about money than religion or spirituality. In many ways, this is similar to the situation in the Roman Catholic Church in the Sixteenth Century. Everything, including licenses to sin (indulgences) was for sale. This was one of the primary reasons for the rise of Protestantism. I have met many people who complained that "rabbis and synagogues are all about money". Charging thousands of dollars for putting a name on a list would seem to confirm that accusation. This is one of the reasons that I have urged my sons not to become congregational rabbis. The second red flag is that the saying of Kaddish has helped to make Judaism into a "cult of the dead". In reality, Torah is all about life and its sanctification. Observant Jews go to synagogue every morning and evening. When the Kaddish comes up, mourners will rise, and recite it. Each Kaddish takes under a minute to say. But people less involved in synagogue services, will often see "going to shul to say Kaddish" as an awful burden, but one they owe to their deceased loved ones. On major holidays, when Ashkenazic custom features prayers for the dead (Yizkor), people "guesstimate" what time it will be said, so as not to "waste" all morning at services. Regular visits to the graves of loved ones are seen as a must; with itinerant "rabbis" standing around, who will recite a short prayer for a few dollars. For most unaffiliated Jews, death is the one thing that brings them to synagogue. This is what I grew up with. So did countless others. The Kaddish, instead of being a beautiful affirmation of G-d's Majesty, has become a dread burden. How can we expect young people to rush to Torah to drink deeply of its life-giving waters, when this is all they know? I am reminded of the incident when a young Jewish woman came to the Dalai Lama, seeking conversion to Buddhism, The Dalai Lama told her "it would be better to seek out the depth of your own religion". She answered "But I'm Jewish. There is no depth". He said to her "Then you do not know Judaism". Kaddish should be a door into a glorious realm of Truth,  Insight, and Eternity. But for many, it has become a brick wall keeping them in a sense of fear, guilt, superstition, and a false sense of obligation. Many, including yours truly, are trying to open that door once again.

The Kaddish part 5

When discussing matters related to women, we must be aware that we are treading on two different issues. One, like all halachic issues, is sources; Bible, Talmud, etc. (Some would add custom to this list. I don't). The other is the fact that non Orthodox movements have put Egalitarianism at the forefront of their ideology, even where it contradicts clear halachic sources. The reaction of the Orthodox establishment, rather than seeking where compromise is possible, or even warranted, is to "circle the wagons". On the halachic side, it is to be remembered that Kaddish is not an adjunct prayer, like a "Mi Sheberach" for the sick. It is part and parcel of the order of public prayer, that an eight hundred year old tradition has given over to those who mourn. The person reciting Kaddish is, in actuality, serving as the prayer leader (shaliah tzibbur). Traditionally, this was the province of males, and was solidly based upon the fact that men and women have different obligations in many areas. But the "circle the wagons" mentality is alive and well here as well. Take for example, the reading of the Book of Esther on Purim. According to virtually all authorities, the obligation of women in this mitzvah is equal to that of men. This would lead to the obvious conclusion that a woman could read the megillah for a man. This is, in fact, the ruling of many prominent rabbis, including Rabbi Ovadia Yosef. The more "Modern" Orthodox rabbis, anxious to not be perceived as Conservative, forbid women reading the megillah...even for other women. Thus, in Yeshiva University's Stern College for Women, where many would be qualified to read it, a man is brought in to do the job. The rabbi who was most widely accepted in Orthodox circles in the U.S. in the 1950s and 1960s was Rabbi Eliezer Silver, who lived in Cincinnati, Ohio. Once, at a funeral, there were no ten men. He had the men step to once side, and had the deceased's daughters say Kaddish in the midst of ten women. (I heard this directly from his son, Rabbi David Silver). In 2000, I told this to one of the heads of the RCA, who warned me "you are in possession of very dangerous information". In the late 1970s, when "Women's Minyans" were being formed in many places, J.B. Soloveichik was asked to provide guidelines. Among his rulings was the idea that women could not recite any part of the service that requires a minyan (Kaddish, Barchu, Kedushah, the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy). Israeli Chief Rabbi Shlomo Goren, however, felt that they may do anything at a women's minyan that men do. The view of J.B. Soloveichik would preclude a woman reciting Kaddish. We must ask ourselves, however, how much of this is halachah, and how much is politics? (J.B. Soloveichik stood in the forefront of lenient personal rulings on the one hand, and stonewalling any liturgical changes on the other). In practice, some Orthodox synagogues allow women to say Kaddish IF at least one man is also saying it, while others frown on this practice. I believe that it will take a duly authorized Sanhedrin to sort out fact from fiction in this, as well as many areas of Judaism. Personally, I have advised the women in my family that they may recite Kaddish in a minyan where this is accepted, but not to do so where it would raise eyebrows, and cause strife. We must maintain the perspective that the recitation of Kaddish by mourners is no more than custom. Not everything is worth World War III. But the basic issues here must eventually be resolved.

The Kaddish part 4

When Kaddish was only the demarcation between the various parts of the service, there were initially seven Kaddishes in the liturgy; three in the morning service, and two each in the afternoon and evening service, for a total of seven. This was connected with the verse: "Seven times a day I praise you for your righteous statutes" (Psalm 119:164).When the custom arose in the thirteenth century to recite Kaddish for the dead, it was initially seen that the one saying Kaddish was momentarily the prayer leader, therefore only one person could say Kaddish at a time. As often there were many mourners present, especially in a large community, accommodating everyone was a problem. Therefore, many additional Kaddishes were instituted, after every scriptural or Talmudic reading in the prayer book. As many as twenty Kaddishes are recited in some communities. When Sepharadim adopted the idea of saying Kaddish for the dead, they altered the custom to have all the mourners say Kaddish in unison. This spread to Eastern Europe as well. However, in many communities it became standard to have each mourner say Kaddish at his own pace, resulting in a cacophony of unintelligible sound. Many rabbis have condemned this practice, but one still finds it often. Most German, and some Central European communities, still follow the custom of only one person saying Kaddish at a time. Rules were set up of a hierarchy of Kaddish sayers (those saying for a parent come first, those in the first month of mourning have precedence.over those past that time, etc.) In a very large community, an individual mourner, especially if saying Kaddish for a different relative (sibling, spouse, child), might only get to say Kaddish once every few days, or even never. But how often does one need to say Kaddish? Some say once a day is sufficient. Some say that one should say Kaddish at each service at least once, making for three times a day. (This was the practice of ARI z"l). Some insist on eighteen times a day. Although there is some basis for this in the Zohar, ARI z"l declared it a mistaken interpretation. Nevertheless, some still do this, especially Chabad. In any case, this has resulted in different numbers of Kaddishes in different communities. Opinions differ if one person can say Kaddish for more than one deceased individual. One can see people with lists of deceased  people, having them all in mind when saying Kaddish. Some even do this for a living, saying Kaddish on behalf of those who need to say Kaddish, but cannot attend synagogue. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein wrote that one cannot say Kaddish for more than one person at a time. He recommended that one saying it for many people should "get in" one Kaddish a day per name. It is difficult to make rules in this area, as it is a relatively late custom, with almost no sources. Any "rules", will be based on local practice rather than actual halachah. A more modern controversy is the question of women saying kaddish. That will be my next topic

The Kaddish part 3

As I wrote in part 1, the "half Kaddish" is the "real" kaddish. Over time, various other forms of the Kaddish have developed, consisting mainly of additions to the basic "half Kaddish". These additions are custom only. One of these is called by Ashkenazim "mourner's kaddish", and by Sepharadim "Kaddish Yehe Shelama". This Kaddish was originally designed to be recited after public study of Scripture. It eventually found its way into the prayer service, following a section of Biblical verses. It consists of two additional paragraphs; one asking for peace from Heaven (the Sepharadic version is considerable longer, asking also for life, fullness, salvation, consolation, healing, redemption, forgiveness and atonement) , followed by by a Hebrew addition (as opposed to Aramaic, the language of the rest of the Kaddish) "He who makes Peace in His Holy Habitation, may He make Peace for us and all Israel". Another version, designed to be said shortly after completing the 'Amidah prayer, places between the Half Kaddish and the above mentioned two additions, a request that our be prayer and request be acceptable to G-d. Yet another form came in, originally to be recited after public Talmudic study, that places after the Half Kaddish, and before the prayer for peace, a prayer for the rabbis, and all who study the Torah, both here and everywhere else. It Ashkenazic tradition, it is known as "Rabbanan Kaddish" (rabbis' Kaddish). This, too, became part of the prayer service, following passages of Talmudic literature. A fifth, and far less known Kaddish is recited both after a burial, and after the completion of the study of a Talmudic tractate (siyyum). It is essentially the mourner's Kaddish, but contains additional words within the Half Kaddish section; "May He renew the world, rebuild His house,rebuild Jerusalem uproot idolatry; replacing it with the worship of Heaven (G-d), revive the dead..." This is the only Kaddish that actually mentions the dead. It is obviously appropriate for a funeral, but I have never seen a cogent explanation of why we say it at the celebration of completing a Tractate. In less learned communities, where it is felt that the mourners might be confused by the unfamiliar words, the regular mourner's Kaddish is substituted. But why so many recitation of Kaddish? Aren't the ones instituted by our Sages to separate the main parts of the prayer enough? That will be my next post.