My Story 48

Just as in my story about Hussein, who came to my family's rescue when it looked like we would have no place to live (in sharp contradistinction to our treatment by Israeli society), and built our house for free, so an unlikely friend arose, who looked after us throughout our stay in Island Park, and even to this day is there for us when we need him. His name is Father John Tutone (the "e' is pronounced), today Monseigneur Tutone. Just a few years my senior, he grew up in the Brooklyn neighborhood adjacent to the one in which I grew up. He had been in Island Park for many years, which is most unusual. The Catholic Church usually switches around priests every few years. But heavily Catholic Island Park refused to allow Fr John to go. He is a Renaissance man; a scholar in several classical languages, as well as fluent in many modern languages, including Modern Greek and Tagalog. He is kind, compassionate, and understanding to all. I was surprised when I spoke to Priests from other areas who didn't like him. They considered him hopelessly conservative, both theologically and politically. But none of this showed in his interactions with people. In fact, in the period before I was hired there as the rabbi, members of the Jewish community often turned to him in times of crisis. Once I came, not only did he welcome us publicly, but praised me to his congregation. He told his flock to pray for my success. A year later, when I was briefly hospitalized, he instructed his people to pray for my recovery. Many of Island Park's Catholic community began to turn to me for guidance as well. Some still do so, despite the fact that I have been away for thirteen years. He has much political influence, in Island Park and beyond. When he learned that the local school board had rejected our plea for transportation to Jewish Day Schools, he got on the phone with the head of the school board, and ordered her to find us transportation. An hour later, all was set up! He didn't stop there, but also lent us the Church van on a number of occasions so that we could move furniture and appliances into our new home. My eldest son, Nachman, had quickly found employment in the area of graphic design. But my second son, Natan, decided he wanted to go to college. But colleges, even Jewish colleges, tolerate much behavior with which I am not comfortable. I approached Fr John. The next day, Natan was admitted to a Catholic College, where he studied accounting. He never experienced there any antisemitism, or evangelism. When he took off for the Purim holiday, he phoned a classmate to find out what he had missed. The classmate said: "Nothing. Sr Joan spent the entire hour talking about how much she admires your piety and devotion." When he graduated, Fr John made the right political connections for Natan to secure an accounting position with the county government. When, in the course of my rabbinic duties, I would encounter Jews who were in need of medical or financial aid, Fr John would always make the connections to help them. In an early discussion between us, we got into the issue of the reprehensible way the Church had treated the Jews. He acknowledged that this had happened, but thought that the main problem had been the nobility, rather than the Church. This conversation/argument went on for half an hour. Finally, he said something that made a deep impression on me. "Jeff, let's suppose you're right. What now?" I was totally taken aback. This man was extending the hand of friendship, helping us in so many ways, with never a hint of any hidden agenda. Are we to be enemies because of things that happened before either of us had been born? He fully acknowledged that there had been an ugly history, but he, and others, were doing everything possible to change the future. Around that time, the American Council of Catholic Bishops had passed a resolution, saying "G-d's covenant with the Jewish people is ongoing". I asked him if this was now Vatican policy. He said "No. But it's the policy of American Bishops. No more evangelism, No more antisemitism. You are fine the way you are". I saw this in action shortly afterwards. A Jewish couple had divorced, and the man now planned to marry a Catholic woman, and came to Fr John to do the ceremony. Fr John called the ex-wife to ask if there was any reason he should not do so. "Yes" replied the wife. "He refuses to give me a 'get' (Jewish divorce). Fr John told the man that not only would he not do the ceremony, but would see to it that no other Priest would do so either, until the "get" was given. He attended Natan's wedding. He gave a sermon praising it the following Sunday. He keeps a picture of that wedding on his desk to this day.  If there were more people among us who acted like Msgr Tutone, it would be a very different world.